Breathe
by MusicalCatharsis
Summary: “You are a sad person Hermione Jane Granger. You allow people to get close to you and then you push them away. It scares me sometimes. If you are not careful, you are going to be alone for the rest of your life.”


**2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,**

There are tears in her eyes as she stares at her work partner across the desks that they pushed together. His blonde hair had cascaded down into his eyes after the long day at work. Those gray eyes that had always held her attention rapt were perusing a quarterly report. She sighed and furiously wiped a tear from her cheek while picking up her report. But, her futile attempts at reading the bloody thing went unencumbered because she could not concentrate for the life of her. The tears were flowing down her face again as she twirled the engagement ring on her finger. It was the beginning of March.

The moment her head bent to read the report that had sat on her desk for almost an hour he looked at the top of her head. A small strand of hair had escaped the bun and was curling slightly against her pale cheek. He wanted to reach out and touch it, but no matter how bad he wanted her, he was always going to be on the outskirts of her life. She was engaged and there was not a damn bloody thing that he could do about it. She loved the bloke…and he was just the partner that she had not wanted in the first place. He noticed that she was crying again and he tore his gaze away from her beautiful aura because if he didn't; he would not be held responsible for his actions.

She glanced up at him and he looked at her. The pain in her eyes was apparent and he could not help himself, he reached out and cupped her cheek. She leaned into the touch and kissed his wrist. She sighed and then prepared to speak.

**  
"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?**

He knew that there was so much more that she wanted to say. He knew that inside she was hurting but from what he had no clue. He was not part of that life. It had taken him a while to come to love her. Bloody hell, it had taken him a year to come to tolerate her. After the war, he told himself, that she was a Mudblood, but that it was wrong to call her one to her face. He did not hold to that rule, but as the year progressed, he fell in love with the little things. Like the way she touched her lip when she was thinking, or the quirk of her eyebrow when she found something amusing but was not in a position to comment or laugh at it. Or even, the way she spun in her office chair in the morning after her normal jolt of black coffee. She always left at the same time, he guessed that she needed to get dinner on the table, and she would always touch his shoulder before she walked out the door. She repeated her sentence. "Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?"

He knew what she was talking about, for the most part, she was upset, he was her partner, and their job depended on them being able to perform any task. She always asked him for help on days like this, raining, cold, and blistery. It was the days that he came to know as the days he would be able to see the true Hermione Granger. She blew that small curled piece of hair from her face and she pulled closer into the desk. He saw the wood pressed against her stomach and he smiled, she did that when she talked to him, like she couldn't be close enough. The way she asked him for his help was amusing, she always said it that way. It was a day when he was upset that she hadn't asked him for help, and he casually walked up to her and whispered. "_Do you need help unraveling your latest mistake?" _She had laughed and nodded.

**  
I don't love him. Winter just wasn't my season"**

He looked at her with wide eyes as she continued to fidget with her engagement ring. "Who are you talking about Hermione? You can't mean your fiancé?" She looked up at him and nodded. It was the third one in the past two years. She had a habit of this, getting engaged and then dumping the poor bloke. She was a sphinx and he loved that about her. The tears were cascading down her cheeks and he looked both ways before reaching out to brush one off of the delicate skin. "Why do you do this to yourself?" He asked her. She shook her head.

"I have no idea Draco. I think that I'm pregnant."

"Well, that's rich."

"Will you come with me to get the test done?" He nodded. Draco had been in this position before as well. She thought that she forgot to perform the spell, and he had to take her to the clinic, a different one each time, and see if she was with child. It always scared him because if she was, then she would marry the bloke, and his little vixen would be leaving him. Not that she was his in the first place. He picked up her cloak and draped it on his forearm before locking both their desks. They walked out of the office arm in arm and got many curious stares. He shook his head and then all deflated. Each of their co workers had a pool, and though it was wrong not to tell Hermione, he allowed it to happen.

The pool was simple, How Many Years before Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy Work Together Before They Realize That They Are Made For Each Other. Draco had bet against himself, five years, he remembered and winced. How could he think that about himself?**  
**

**Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes**

They always stare at them like that. They think that they are so young but they are both twenty, and wise beyond their years. He held her hand tighter in his as they approach the desk. The lady knows them by now, and she knows that they are not together. She smiles at them both and ushers them into a back room. She is sympathetic to the little girl that stands before her. She saw it a hundred times a day. A girl, starving for attention, falls for the wrong guy (repeatedly in Hermione's case) and ends up here, where she either confirms or does not confirm. She performed the spell and saw the blue light in front of Hermione's belly. She smiled at the girl and shook her head.

Hermione jumped in the air and whooped. She was so happy. He smirked know that she was happy. It made him happy on the inside. He smiled at her before scooping her up in a hug. Sucking in her scent before placing her on the floor, he linked their arms to return to the office. On his way back in he shook his head again and they all smiled. Suddenly she yanked her arm out of his grasp and ran into the office. He saw the burly man before he even approached the door. Turning his body in the other direction he began to talk to one of his other female co workers. She smiled at him and grazed her fingers across his arm, in an apology, he suspected. They all knew that his heart broke each time she dated someone else, yet he still allowed her to date these med.

He saw the top of an unruly onyx head coming up the stairs and he rushed forward. Harry looked into Draco's eyes and he knew that Hermione was with the current fiancé. He clapped Draco on the back and sighed.

"She'll come around one day, mate." Harry said. Draco cast him a sad glance before turning to walk out of the building.

**  
Like they have any right at all to criticize,**

She felt her heart breaking as Stephanie and Harry comforted Draco in subtle ways. Hermione had no clue what he needed to be comforted about and she decided that now was not the time to find out. She glanced up into the eyes of Michael Taggert. She smiled at him sadly before preparing to tell him.

"Mike." She called. "I don't think that I can marry you. I am not ready for this." He nodded his head, he had expected it. He grazed her face with his hand and smiled at her forlornly.

"You are a sad person Hermione Jane Granger. You allow people to get close to you and then you push them away. It scares me sometimes. If you are not careful, you are going to be alone for the rest of your life." He cupped her cheek and kissed her lips lightly. She was crying softly. He walked away from her after she placed his ring back into his hand. He looked at the people outside her office and cursed. He had actually loved this one. They all looked at him and cringed. He glared at him and stalked out of the room after calling them all hypocrites. That's what they were.

**  
Hypocrites. You're all here for the very same reason**

**  
**The people that she worked with looked at her with sympathy in their eyes as she threw herself back into her work. She was asked many times if she wanted to go out for drinks, or for a small dinner, but in her heart, she knew that she was supposed to be somewhere, she just hadn't found it yet. That sympathy is what enraged her. She wanted to scream and stomp and curse. She wanted to kill these bloody people for the way that they were looking at her. Who the hell were they to criticize her? She was here for the bloody same reason that she was. It was her job; she was here to make money, and to see Draco. She loved to see him. She did not love him.

He felt the air tighten around him as he smoked a small stick outside of his office building. He was the only one in the office to smoke the disgusting things when he was upset. But, in the end, he always quit, because she was happy once again. Draco sensed another presence with him and he turned around to see Michael Taggert staring at him with bloody murder in his eyes. He was staring at Draco like he wanted to kill him. What was he to do? He shrugged his shoulders and held out the pack of cigarettes to him. He did not take one. Draco smirked and continued to suck on the stick. Michael walked closer to him. Draco was not fazed. He glanced up at the man who towered over him by five inches. Putting the man at about 6'7, he smirked again and the man got physical.

Michael's hands were around Draco's pale throat in an instant. He pushed Draco up against the wall with little effort. Draco took the cigarette and pressed it into the man's forearm. He hissed and dropped Draco, who in turn balled his hands into fists and spit on him.

"Don't you even come near Hermione again! Do you understand me? I do not want to see you around her, because if you come back then I will be forced to kill you."

The man laughed in Draco's face. "Do you think that she will love you Malfoy. She doesn't love. She is just a stupid bitch." Draco punched Taggert in the face and walked back into the office. Harry was comforting Hermione.

**  
'Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable**

She removed herself from Harry's grasp and flung herself into Draco's arms. Immediately she smelt the smoke and buried her face deeper into his chest. She loved his smell. She loved the sight of him. She loved his hair. She loved his eyes. She loved his smile. But she did not love him. How ironic is that? She clutched at his shirt and he held her. Running his fingers through her hair, he sucked in her scent. Was it so wrong to love the days when she made herself single again? Was it wrong that he loved these days? He kissed the top of her head lightly and then looked over to Harry. He was smiling at the sight and he signed before clutching his heart and walking out of the room. He told the people working that they were hugging and if Draco was **smart** he would snatch her up. Draco was never that bright.

**  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table**

He could not grasp that concept. Time was slipping away from them and they could not turn the hourglass to get it back. He was stuck as he counted the days that Hermione could not be called his. What the hell was wrong with him? He loved her, even though it had taken him a few years, he wanted to be with her. But in the back of his mind, he was afraid of rejection. Yep, that's it, Draco Malfoy, feared being rejected by Hermione Granger.

**  
No one can find the rewind button, girl.**

Her life was passing before her eyes. When she was younger she always thought that she would be married and with child by now, but that is not what her life turned out to be. She knew exactly where things had gone wrong in her life. It had all started the day of the final battle. Ron died right before her eyes, and there was nothing that she could do to save him. They were going to move in together when the war was finally over. That never happened. She looked into his face while he was dying, but he did not say the words she wanted to hear. He looked up at her and touched her left cheek with his right hand.

"You were always like a sister to me." It wasn't that she didn't appreciate his dying words, it was that he never once said I love you in all their years of dating. That's when she started dating and dumping. She had never once passed the part of engagement, and she didn't plan to anytime soon. Her face still buried in Draco's chest, she cried a little more before walking back to her desk and sitting down. She smiled at Draco as though nothing had happened and picked up the report that lay forgotten. It was finished within the hour. He sighed. She would be okay.

**  
So cradle your head in your hands**

When she returned to her flat near their office, she smelt the books and sat on the couch. She placed her head in her hands and cried for hours. She still missed Ron but something else was pushing through. She cried a little more before curling onto the floor in front of the blazing fireplace and falling into an uneasy sleep.

**  
And breathe... just breathe,**

Even after all her heartbreak she still lived. She wanted to live because she would not die until she had found true love.

**  
Oh breathe, just breathe**

That's how he found her the next morning when he went to her flat to see why she wasn't in the office before him spinning in her chair. He stood there and watched her breathe. ****

In May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss

It was his first vacation away from London, his fist vacation away from her and it was killing him. He smiled at the women who tried to make passes at him but he told them all. "I have a lady waiting for me back home." They all slinked away from him after that and he was left to think of Hermione. One bar that he frequented had often made ID checks in the bar. He had filled his flask and was playing a game of pool with a Muggle when he was ID'd. The man looked from the card to Draco and back to the card again. "We have a birthday!" He yelled and inwardly Draco groaned. Can't he just live in peace.

**  
"Just a Day", he said down to the flask in his fist,**

"Hey, hey, hey! It's just a day!" He yelled to the crowd that was pushing him to the bar. He looked at the solid oak and groaned. There was no way that he was going to make it to the hotel after the twenty one shots they were filling for him. Each was a different alcohol. He wanted to run from the place. But this was heaven for him even if he was reluctant to admit it.

**  
"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year."**

After each shot he took he stated her name. The women rolled their eyes and stared at him in amazement. He was soaking up the shots like nothing, but he was killing himself. Once the last shot slid down his throat, he stood up on balanced feet, and walked out into the night. No one ever saw Draco Malfoy in America again. When Hermione asked about it he told her the story and she glared at him.

"You have nasty habits Draco Lucius Malfoy." She stated plainly. He quirked an eyebrow and glanced at her in a way that said. _So do you_! But for the sake of his sanity and his body he said nothing. **  
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,**

She looked up at the top of his head and shook hers. He was killing himself and she didn't like it. She loved the way the florescent lights bounced off of his hair. But she did not love him. He looked up and they had a staring contest for a moment. Then he smiled.

**  
But, my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,**

He looked wonderful. She smiled back at him and he reached out to grab her hand. She pulled away. He cursed himself. _Too fast! _He scolded. She sighed and looked up to him and smiled again, hoping to draw that smiled out of him. That smile, was in words that no one could match, bloody brilliant. She loved that smiled. But she did not love him.

**  
Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.**

His body, that was another story, she always liked to cling to it. Because she loved that body. But she did not love him. ****

Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

He returned to his flat and showered. His body and mind were centered on her that night and nothing could stop the sting that pierced his heart. He almost broke down and cried but he kept his head up high as he ordered Chinese food for like twenty people and he ate it all. With a large belch and a pat of his stomach, he got up from his couch to brush his teeth. He hated Chinese food.

**  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table.**

She was right in front of him. All he had to do was reach out and hold her to his body. Talk some sense into her. Make her want him. But he didn't and then a month later she was dating another creep whom he hated. The first time they met the man glared at him and then sat Hermione in his lap like she was a trophy. Draco smirked and glared at the man. He knew that this soon would be a game, a game that he had to win. When he went to leave Hermione's flat he pulled her aside.

"Be careful." He kissed her cheek and then left.

**  
No one can find the rewind button, boys,**

"Man of little words, that Draco Malfoy." She still had her hand to her cheek. She wanted to cry because she could not make him touch her like that again and again. Her cheek was on fire. She grabbed the man and crashed her lips onto his. She loved Draco's kiss. But she did not love him.

**  
So cradle your head in your hands,**

His home was destroyed. Everything he owned was blasted to pieces the minute that he had returned. She made him so mad sometimes. He wanted to kill the man that she was seeing now. Who the hell did he think he was? Merlin, he had practically raped her while he sat there eating his pasty. He cursed as he stubbed his toe. He loved her and it was killing him.

**  
And breathe... just breathe,**

William Furtado. He hated the Muggle bastard.

**  
Oh breathe, just breathe**

Fuck breathing. He needed Hermione by his side if he was ever going to breathe again. He finally cried. ****

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, 

While she was making love to William thoughts of Draco rushed through her mind. She was stuck between two worlds, because in one she was in control and married, but in the other, she was sleeping with a guy that she had been dating for a month.

**  
You shout 'cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out**

Her moans resounded in the small flat, but she was moaning out in pain. This man was hurting her and Draco was not here to save her this time. She cried and placed her hands on his back.

"Stop." She breathed. "Stop." But he kept going. By that time she was broken. He had raped her.

**  
And these mistakes you've made, you'll just make them again**

Even though she asked him to leave after he finished she broke down and cried again. She knew that she would let that man back into her home, heart, and knickers. She would keep making these mistakes again and one day in the near future she would cry and Draco would look up at her and she would ask him the same question. _"Can you help me unravel my latest mistake?" _He would always oblige.

The next day at work she told him of the rest of her date and it made him sick. He wanted to yell at her but she got up and walked away from him. The hurt and pain and anger flashed in his eyes.

**  
If you only try turning around.**

But she never did! Hermione Granger lived her life in fast forward, always rushing things. If only she would turn around, she would see how she was hurting him. She could see that he loved her. She still didn't turn around. Draco turned back to his work.****

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song

She sat at her desk, writing things on a small scrap of paper. She love the way that Draco listened to her. But she did not love him. The words were coming together. Gray, blonde, tall, broad, sexy, talented, beautiful, and available. She was describing Draco. She loved everything about him. But she did not love him.

**  
If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, **

She cried, salty water splashing the page, the ink ran, and the song was gone, but the feelings were not. She still felt everything that the song wanted her to feel. She placed her head on the desk and cried some more. There was only one thing that she could do. She picked herself up and straightened out her clothes. She climbed the steps to his townhouse and knocked. She was unsteady on her own two feet when he opened the door with just a pair of shorts on his lean waist. She smiled at him and waved.

"Hey." She piped up. He crossed one of his legs over the other and smirked at her.

"Hey." He replied.

**  
Threatening the life it belongs to**

"Can I come in?" she asked with her gaze fixed on his chest. He smiled and stood back from the doorway. She closed the door after him and stood in his foyer. She looked down at her feet and then lunged herself into his arms. Like always, he held her close, breathing in her scent.

**  
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd**

In that one embrace she poured out her heart to him. In her tears he could tell that she had come to him and this was where she was going to stay. You could say that she finally admitted that she loved him now. She loved everything about him. But she loved him too.

**  
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud**

She kissed his chest lightly with her thin pink lips. She loved the feel of his body pressed so tightly to hers. She felt as if she was coming home in this moment. He pushed her away from his body and looked into her eyes.

"Did you just…kiss my chest?" he asked her hesitantly. She smiled at him and nodded. Grinning like a bloody fool he picked her up and pressed her body closer to his. "That makes me so happy." She never told him that she loved him but he leaned in to kiss her lips. When she did not pull away he applied more force and soon their tongues were battling. He walked with her legs wrapped around his waist into his bedroom. When was the last time that he had slept in there? He thought. It was the last time that he took Hermione to bed, the night that they had been made partners. So much sexual frustration built up inside them. It was rough. But tonight he was gentle.

He slid his throbbing shaft into her apex and she moaned. He loved the sound of her labored breathing. It was driving him over the edge and he licked her nipple.

**  
And I know that you'll use them, however you want to**

"I love you Hermione Jane Granger." He screamed as he came.

"I love you too. I mean it." She whispered before pulling him down on top of her so that they could go again. ****

But you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable,

The cars were moving fast as Draco pumped himself inside of Hermione. Her screams of ecstasy made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. She was moaning and yelling. He was bleeding from the scratch marks on his back.

"Fuck!" he exclaimed when she flipped them over and started riding him.

**  
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table**

Time had stopped. They were together. They were happy. They were smiling. They were in love.

**  
No one can find the rewind button now**

When they walked into work the next morning he nodded to the hopeful faces. At first they just stared at him, and then he nodded again. They all broke out into smiles. They clapped and Hermione blushed. He kissed her making a huge show of it. And when the night was over he took her back to their home to make love in their bed. He was ready and willing to share everything with her.

**  
Sing it if you understand.**

A month later they walked hand in hand into the clinic like they had done so many times before. But this time she was wearing his engagement ring. The nurse that had always helped them looked up and smiled. She ushered them into a back room and performed the spell. When the light shone pink she didn't smile. But Hermione and Draco did. She jumped into his arms and kissed him. The nurse smiled knowing that it was their child and that they had finally grown up and gotten together. She was happy for them both.

**  
and breathe, just breathe**

While they were planning the marriage, he could not breathe, he was waiting for the day that she broke it off.

**  
woah breathe, just breathe,**

Wedding day arrived and she walked down the aisle. They said their vows and then Hermione went into labor.

**  
Oh breathe, just breathe,**

"Twins!" Draco announced to the entire hospital waiting room. They all smiled.

"Names?" Harry called out.

"Draco Lucius Malfoy Jr. and Cecilia May Malfoy." They all cheered.

**  
Oh breathe, just breathe.**

Finally, after four years of working beside Hermione Jane Granger (Malfoy), he was where he belonged. He let out the breath that he had been holding for four long years. He was content. Now he could breathe. Just breathe.


End file.
